Well I lost another...... 2 pounds!

 

Not much but how we've been eating I am amazed!!!

 

On Thursday night we found out that our new house that basement flooded, the basement is completed demo-d and won't be fixed for another 2-3 weeks... so we can't move in till then...

 

Saturday we went to see Mama Mia, OMG it was awesome. I absolutely loved it as did Greg. We had so much fun! We laughed we cried... and we looked HOT!!!!! I posted pictures... We had so much fun! We want to go to NYC to see it on Broadway... I think that would be even better... I can't wait for the movie,, there is no way that it could touch the magic of it LIVE but it still looks like its going to be good!

Well we've really slacked on this this past week :(

 

Between work, moving, and being sick this was alittle tooo low on our priority list!

 

Friday I had my appt to see if the fertility meds actually worked. I went in for a P4 and its suppose to be at a 15.0 Tuesday night I finally got my results back... it was a .05 which is a "little low for them" wth? alittle low more like a lot low... I am sooooo frustrated with this! When I did it last time on 200 mg I was at a .713. So this time they DECREASED it to 100mg... I am just soo damn frustrated and defeated. I dont know what to do. I am sooo ready to be a mom. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of everyone else getting this mircale and I don't get to take part. There are 3 girls pregnant at work that are recently pregnant. Why the hell can't I seem to get it together... What am I personally doing it wrong. I know its possible...  I know other women with PCOS and they have kids some have 3 or 4 kids. So what am I doing. I know as much as it breaks my heart, its breaks Greg's heart. He says it will come when God is ready, but I see the doubt in his eyes. I feel like its only a matter of time before he thinks "what am I doing with her?" and either walks away or starts to resent me. He can have kids... we've had him tested.. and he came back perfect...

 

My dr is ready to do another cycle he wants to wait til I get my period and then increase the dosage to 150 mg. I am not sure I want to do another cycle I am sooo ready to be a mom. Greg says maybe I should wait six months focus on getting skinny and try then. I also looked up Gonal-F Injections and the side effects. Prehaps we should do a cycle for that.   I dont know I hate this!

 

I want to be skinny and a mom... but if I had to chose between the two I would rather be a mom....

 

Food wise this week hasn't been good... I've been craving Taco Bell. And we've been eatting horrid with how busy we are we've been eating stuff thats fast and not nessicarily healthy.

 

Work outs... hahahaha none unless you count packing boxes and such!

I packed the scale and I can't find it, so tonight we will wiegh in at the YMCA...

Well I lost 6 more lbs. total of 15. I need to keep the soda out and eat right and exercise more and hopefully even more will melt away!

I've been sick since Saturday. It got progressively worse and from Sunday evening until Tuesday evening I didn't eat anything. When I did it wasn't a good site. I hope to be 100% soon, so I can continue this journey.

 

We are moving and our anniversary was on Monday, both of us stayed in bed, we were both sicker than dogs. Not a great way to spend your anniversary. We had off this week for our anniversary, but we decided it would be better spent packing. We haven't gotten much of that done though. :-(

 

I am feeling better than I was and Annie's mom and dad are helping us finish packing on Saturday. Hopefully it will be that we can get most everything moved this weekend. We will see!

 

I will weigh-in later, today is Thursday our weigh in day. So check back for the results on that.

Greg was sick on Saturday and he passed on to me yesturday :(

 

So we BOTH are sick

 

Sunday

I had a sub sandwhich

chips and dip

pepsi

 

Today

Two glass of ojay, lots of water, and some cold meds...

 

I think thats it unless I miracliously get better today...

 

 

Monday is our SIXTH anniversary and so my parents took us to eat at Olive Garden... MMMM

 

So yesturday I had a chicken sandwhich with fries water to drink

 

then for supper I had toasted ravoli and salad.

 

Exercise I packed boxes and played with my dog in the snow...

 

Nothing EARTH Shattering I know but I feel I did good.

Dieting this week wasn't great. We are having a problem setting our schedule for eating. I know it's not about dieting but about lifestyle changes. Something I feel that we are struggling with. I did lose 2 lbs this week, but I am not sure how I did.

 

Still haven't started an exercise program. Annie and I are off most of next week and hopefully we can look at getting better at it, but we are moving and other things, I know excuses, excuses.

 

We need to stop with the excuses and just start and get on track....

How come I can't remember Thursday? Except that we weight in and Greg lost 2 pounds and I lost 0

 

Whats up with that?

 

I personally have alot of stress right now. Between moving, work, and fertlity medication I dont know... We find out next Thursday that if the medication worked. I hope so much it did.. I want to be skinny, but I would be fat the rest of my life if it meant I could have kids... Maybe not the right mentality.

 

We haven't really talked about whether or not we are going to do a second cycle after this one. Do we continue to do the fertlity meds and work on our weight? Or do we concentrate on the weight and hope the pregnancy comes later? Or even start our adoption process? Which we planned on starting in June of 08 again. But should we start it earlier?

 

I don't know, In my perfect world, I would be healthy, have my own house (we are working on that now) and it would be filled with kids, atleast four. 

 

Unfortnetly its not a perfect world, and while that maybe a reality for me someday. Right now its not.

Tuesday I didn't do so good on my diet... either did greg!

 

We've been trying to stick to calories, 1500 for me 1800 for greg.

Tuesday night because it was fast Greg made us ravoli out of a can...  1000 calories... he didnt tell me till after I ate it.

 

SO the whole time we watched biggest loser I did squats and curls...

 

Weds was better!

We ate breakfast..... and let me tell you I was full til about 1230ish.. then I had a bag of combo's :(

for supper, I had seen this buger at applebees called the quesidilla burger and it looked so good. so we tried to do our own turkey burger version... and it was mmmmm soooo good, and sooo filling!

We had two each about 1/4lb  Greg mixed them with some garlic pepper and then fried them. He also made some turkey bacon. We took 8 inch tortillias i put some cheese on them and then pickles. The bacon and burger then some more cheese and another tortillia shell and we baked them for about 10 minutes and omg they were soooo good! I put a teaspoon of ketchup and mustard on mine...  I also did a mexican one with olives salsa and a teaspoon of sour cream....  next time no olives!

 

Breakfast- nada

Snack 100 Calorie pack

Lunch South Beach Breakfast Bar

Supper Homemade pizza---sooooo good

            Toasted ravoli

 

No real exerise I worked til 7ish and just felt icky and tired and starved after work...

 

 

Yesterday was Saturday and we went to TGI Fridays and I had a turkey burger and fries. I had one fried mac and cheese, I did pretty well, we went to the bowling alley last night and I had a hot ham and cheese and again french fries. I am looking forward to next week, because we have things more structured. We don't have that on the weekend and it's harder for us to do. I plan on going to the Y tomorrow and at least doing a little on the treadmill and elipse machine. We will see how the food thing goes....

 

Today wasn't the greatest I didn't eat anything until like 11 and then it was corn chips and frozen pizza around 3 or 4 and we haven't had supper yet, and I don't think we are going to have any.... So not good food day for us.

Um not sure how we did yesturday. We took my sisters to the mall and walked and walked we were there for about  4 hours...

 

eating not so good, we went to TGIF and I had a burger and french fries. we also ordered Fried Mac N Cheese which I love!! My sisters were with so it wasn't like we ate all of them but I had one and a half.

 

I need to shave my legs so we can go to the YMCA!

 

I did try on pants yesturday because I need them sooo badly but I am in between sizes and the 22 were snug and the 24 fall off my hips... YEAH!!!! I didn't buy anything because I just had this feeling and I was right

 

because we got a call about a house and we have to send him some money to put down asap. I am sooo freaking excited!!!! I just hope we can get our taxes done soon!

We went shopping last night and I think we did really well. We have our meals planned out, and it is a variety, I think that will be important. I will start the Y on Monday and hopefully loose 7 more lbs. We will see. I would be happy with more, but I don't want to set my goals to high and fall short and get frustrated. MOre to come soon, actually hopefully less of me to come soon, LOL.

Well I did good... for the most part...

We had a Packers Pigout at work. and oh the smell of the hot dogs and mexican hotdish and cocktail wieners was just soooo tempting. But I didn't touch one single thing besides my SouthBeach Bar. :) I am so proud I resisted temptation!

 

Now for supper I didn't do so good. We went to Applebees and I had the apps sampler.  :( I got sick from it though, I think cause all week we ate home cooked healthier meals and then all the grease and rich foods just was a shock. I dont know maybe...

 

We also went grocery shopping, and read lables we actually read them.  So thats a BIG step for us... 

 

No real exercise though :( thats the bad thing!

 

I had a typeo eairler my starting weight was 275 not 285. I lost 7 lbs. That's good considering we didn't eat the best and weren't very active, but when we start at the Y next week and eating better we will start burning those lbs!!! I am looking so forward to 190 lbs. but first I would be happy with 250 and now I an 7 lbs closer!!

Yesturday I did medium

 

I had a Southbeach Bar 140 Calories

Lots of water through out the day

Supper I had Toasted Ravoli from Olive Garden

Salad

With Ice Water to drink.

 

When I got home I as kind of bored and I wanted to start to snack but I stopped myself and went for a walk with my dog. 

 

This morning I wieghed in at 260. However my scale is always five pounds less then my doctors scale. SO I lost about five pounds this past week. I can't say Im not happy with that.  I wish I could drop like 10 in a week. Maybe we when start doing this hardcore!

 

My Goal tonight is to walk completely around our block.  Our block is shaped funny its not a normal block, we have a school and a church as well as about 25 houses on it. I am going to measure the distance. I hope it stops snowing and people sholve their sidewalks so we aren't slipping all over the place.

 I think Garfield's theory is correct, I feel that my stomach is to plotting to take over the world. I fight this as Superman would Lex Luthor. Smart!  Hopefully I will get better into the swing of things soon.

 

                                              

Our lifestyle has to change, we need to eat more, we don't eat enough and when we do eat we eat to much and later in the evening. Not good for us at all. I talked to my mom tonight, she suggested a protien drink in the morning and a lean cuisine or weight watchers meal for lunch and a sensable dinner. We have to start something. We had a membership to the YMCA all last year, and we used it maybe twice, but I don't think we even used it that much. Paying $60.00 a month for esentially nothing. We want to get into a couple of classes, but I have to work that around my work and school schedule. But I have to figure it out or I may have a heart attack before I am 35. I know it scares Annie and I want to work on it, especially with my family history. We will get there, but it is slow going for now.

 

 

This song connects with me on so many levels. I want a baby so badly... I want to be a parent badly.

This is one of the biggest reasons I need to Change my life. With the PCOS is near impossible to have a baby

without losing atleast alittle of the weight...

 

 

Today I did.. not great but not bad either

 

I had

Southbeach bar 140 calories

cola 160

and some chili,,,

 

 

We did go for a walk but not a real long one.

 

We need to get a better system figured out. mY right hand hurts so bad right now. if I touch it wrong or lean on it wrong or do one pushup it hurts... wtf?